this blog isn't dead!

yet, at least.

2013's a new year. I usually don't put too much into New Year's resolutions and stuff like that, because I think it's silly to think that just because your calendar changed, you, all of a sudden, should, too. If you want to change, then do it. Don't wait for January 1st to roll around every year for you to decide you want to be a better you; you should be constantly improving upon yourself throughout the year. I'm pretty cynical about New Year's resolutions, but it's probably attributed mostly to those I grew up around. The people of Long Island aren't known for their depth, if you know what I mean.

This year is different, though. I'm really looking forward to the start of this year - even if I'm still in student-mode and in my mind, years start in August and end in May. I've figured out it's because 2012 really sucked. It started out fine, but there was a crazy amount of stuff going wrong. I'm glad it happened because of ways I grew as a result of those challenges, but that doesn't change the fact that they still happened.

Anyway, 2012 was still a big year - in good ways and bad.

I'm thankful I found my acupuncturist when I was home (on Long Island) over the summer, because now my diet is a whole lot less restricted than it was before. I'm thankful for the new children that both of my sisters brought into the world (both of them now have three). I'm thankful for the time I was able to spend with my family, even when it wasn't planned to be spent with them. And I'm thankful that my parents have finally found a house that they're happy and looking forward to grow old in.

But more than anything else, I wish I hadn't lost both of my grandmothers. It's been really tough for me - and the rest of my family - in dealing with the loss of my maternal grandmother, especially, from our lives. She had a really firm grasp on what family should look like, and it's hard to not have her here holding our family together the way she used to. We all know that it will never be the same without her, but we also know that continuing family traditions and gatherings is the best way to remember and honor her.

So I guess I'm looking forward to 2013 more out of hope than anything else. Here's hoping that 2013 brings a freshness and newness with it, and that it's a whole lot better than 2012.