Today is Ash Wednesday, aka the day I recover from eating too many carbs the day before, aka the day everyone asks me what I'm giving up for Lent and I either (a) answer sarcastically with the gym or salads, or (b) say "I don't know."
It's not that I'm against giving anything up for forty days. In fact, I'm one of those kinds of people who actually likes putting new restrictions/rules on their lives because it's like a game or challenge to accomplish. (Does anyone else like that actually exist? It's okay, don't tell me. I'd rather be ignorant of my weirdness.)
But Lent is a funny time of year for me. I start to get excited because depriving yourself of something usually unhealthy for you for forty days is a great way to kickstart a healthier (more permanent) lifestyle. But when I think of Lent, the only person I see benefiting from the many different ideas I've had of what to give up is me. Everything I think of has absolutely no tie to deepening my reliance on God.
Sure I could give up TV and vow to read more books, but there's always some other vice to fill that void. No TV privileges when I get home from work? That's okay, I'll just busy myself with Flappy Bird, Spotify, and baking unnecessarily. Give up chocolate for forty days? That's okay, ice cream with do just fine. No social media? That's okay, I'll just catch up on Buzzfeed and NYT in my spare time, instead.
And to be honest, if I did take on any of these challenges, I'd only end up praising myself by the end. Wow, Mary, look how many more books you've read because you gave up TV for Lent! Wow, Mary, look how equally unhealthy you are because you gave up chocolate for Lent! Wow, Mary, look how well-versed you are on current events and politics because you gave up social media for Lent!
And so Lent is not a season of the year I'm ambivalent towards or jaded about. It's not a time I resent or roll my eyes at dedicated practitioners. It's definitely not a time I stop eating gluten just because I'll probably drop a few pounds if I do. All of my proposed intentions are insincere. I'm not unwilling, more misguided. Man, fasting altogether would probably be a great challenge with meaningful results, but I have a feeling a lot of people in my life would not approve. Darn extremist personality. All or nothing in everything I do, and this is just another Lent of nothing.
If anyone has some non-starvation ideas for Lent, I'm open to hearing them! I mean, we're only fourteen and a half hours in at this point, so as long as I'm still allowed to drive, go to work, and play Flappy Bird in the bathroom, I should be good to go.
