I love driving the minivan at home. This is for two reasons: 1) I like being higher up when I drive. It's better visibility for driving, and everything just looks better when you're higher off the ground. 2) It means I'm home. And I have a deep attachment to that car after it pretty much being my car for more than a year.
The second reason is better than the first. Not in legit terms, though it probably is the more legit reason, but just that it was really, really good to be home.
For my first year of college, I wanted to do whatever I could to leave campus as late as I could for vacation, and come back as soon as I could. I went back to school like a week before dorms opened during my first winter break just because I wanted to. And it's not like home's a terrible place. My family's real good and loving and all that, and I like spending time with them.
But this year, I just loved being home. It made it really difficult to come back to school and all the responsibilities that didn't exist in West Babylon. While I was home, my time was split between home, Steff's house and Grandma's house. I'd chill at home and read for school while being with family. I even made bi bim bap one night for dinner (Sort of. I had to improvise with some things, I'm white.). I'd go over to Steff's house, usually in the afternoon, and just talk with her while holding her baby for an hour or two. There's something about holding a baby that's just comforting and calming. And makes everything better. Like when you have a cup of good, strong coffee when you have have coffee in like a week. And then I'd head over to Grandma's house and make the Easter chocolates with Aunt Theresa.
If people ask me how my break was, I'll answer with "nice and relaxing." And it really was. I feel like if I had another week or two of that, I'd be golden for the rest of the semester. But I didn't. And now I'm just tired. Mad tired.
For my Russian lit class, we recently read Bulgakov's The Master and Margarita, which is a pretty crazy book, but it's a real good read. So here's the noteworthy quote:
"Gods, my gods! How sad the evening earth! How mysterious the mists over the swamps! He who has wandered in these mists, he who has suffered much before death, he who has flown over this earth bearing on himself too heavy a burden, knows it. The weary man knows it. And without regret he leaves the mists of the earth, its swamps and rivers, with a light heart he gives himself into the hands of death, knowing that she alone can bring him peace."I don't think I'll be giving myself into the hands of death to relieve it, but I'm weary.
Mad weary.
